Today is the first day of the college. The stateroom stewards college. Does it sound weird?! Yeah, I think so too but I have no choice.
Whilst brushing my teeth, I try to ignore the unbearable smell that comes from the sandals of my roommate, Lenka. What a wild berry is that Czech girl Lenka! Yet she has a British accent. I am catching it as well. Either the A/C isn't working or that smell goes stronger and stronger every minute, I think to myself. "I am sorry, I know it's awful" says Lenka and looks at me guilt-faced. At least you know it, I mumble.
Outside in the corridor my friend is getting anxious - c'mon, let's go, I am not waiting for you all day! And don't forget your tie-bow! Oh, yes, my tie-bow. First time for me wearing such thing. I put on the college-shirt, pull on the college-skirt, tie the college tie-bow ... and now I am supposed to look like a pretty spruce college girl. My mirror has a different opinion - terrible!! I look like my grandmother!!! My skirt reaches 2 inches below my knees, the shirt looks big on me and is hanging from all sides, my stockings ran a ladder in the mean time. Just my tie-bow looks perfect on me and bulges at ideal size! I have no choice but to accept those facts...!
I bolt for the stairs - I've got just 5 minutes to find my way in this labyrinth and climb the n-teen-hundred steps to the bar. Yes, the BAR. By an irony of the seaman's fate I am going to associate this bar mainly with the tests and the eagle eyes of Rowina, the Phillipino-girl.
I dash in with a long jump and immediately find myself on a chair at a desk with my name on it. Wow! I see only foreign faces around me. "Richard" says the badge of my neighbor. A dark dude with sparkling eyes. "Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you, Nevena!" says he and shows his nice white, cavity-free front teeth! Wow, this one is fast, I think to myself and glance disparaging at him. He, though, keeps grinning at me! I am going to give him a smack in a minute.. !
I grin back charming instead. The dude starts smirking even more enthusiastic: "Today we are going to work together!" What a luck! In my case either the shark will deaf, or the whistle will have no pellet...
Here comes the above mentioned Rowina. We were going to mimic her later with a laugh - proceeeeeeeedures - with the lower jaw going forward. Try it in front of the mirror and you'll see why! Now, though, she looks at us frightfully. We look at her, too. Impertinent. We are bold Europeans, after all! Hungarians, Czechs, Slovakians, Poles, Lithuanians and Bulgarians. Bulgarians are the biggest group. Rowina introduces herself. She is going to conduct the main class and Joe is going to train us in hospitality. That Joe... later I will write about him.
Those classes seem like a mist to me even now. There was some stupid remember-your-neighbor's-name game. What a bore ... until the Joe came around. South-African. He says just a word and we laugh our heads off. So it goes during the whole lecture. He is good at that! He will be better as a comedian, though. I tell him that. "I played in a movie" says Joe. "Starring Elizabeth Hurley. By the time I appeared on the screen and my parents yelled - here is our Joe!- the scene was over, though." Anyway, who can boast about being in a movie with Elizabeth Hurley?! This guy is such a nutty!
The class is over. We go for a lunch. Now I can look around. I pass by some strange dudes in the corridor. They all grin at me and say: "Hi, how are you?" What do you people want?? I back off instinctively, stare at my shoes and walk further like a ram. I reach the crew-mess. Same story. I line up at the buffet line. Dudes from all sides talk to me - hi, how are you? How do you expect me to be?! Hungry, that's how I am! Understood? I look at them askance, mutter something to myself and turn my back.
The meal looks good at first sight. Wow, so much pastry! I like pastry and you can tell. I fill up my plate with pastry and run off.
Sooo... I am done with the pastry. They are going to show us around the ship in a few minutes. In the mean time another guy has got a bad word from me. I am going to complain about sexual harassment! We've been told it is a serious charge on the ship and is not tolerated.
We head for a ship-tour. I look like a redskin in a casino. I didn't remember the way back. There are shops, bars, elevators, boulevard (casino as well), library, theater, pools, water-slides... Oh, I feel dizzy! Bring me back! They keep dragging me further instead and Rowina keeps explaining her "proceeeeedures"..! What a mess!
On the way back they lead us on a discouragingly different route, so my hopes to get familiar with the labyrinth went down the drain.
At last we are in a well-known place - the crew-bar. Not for a class though, not at all! We are going to have a drink before bed. Rowina advises us to be sensible, to study and get enough sleep instead of hanging out in the crew-bar. Yes, sure, of course ma'am!
We had that drink no-one-knows-how-many times and went with X-styled gait down to our cabins. Did I mention our showers were common? Well, separate for men and for women... of course. But still, it is fun to have a crazy Russian girl coming under your shower with the excuse there is just cold water running in hers... Try to explain to everyone then that you are interested in men!
We pull on the pajamas after shower. There is going to be a PJ-party. Said and done! Someone brought a bottle of vodka from somewhere. I don't drink vodka, but you may ask about my colleagues. The fluid was gone in no time. Click! Someone keeps a memory somewhere about our first college pajama party. Sitting on the ground (or on others' laps), with eyes red of drinking and not getting enough sleep, just with pajamas and socks on, legs and hands spread, we cry loudly I-don't-remember-which-song.
Securityyyy!!! Some crawling, some jumping, some sliding - everyone dash into the rooms. No matter whose room. Outside was nice and quiet, and we played innocent. The security guy just looked around for a while, said something over the walkie-talkie and sneaked out. We sneaked out too - each one to their own cabin. Me - to my roommate's smelly sandals. Boy, didn't I get lucky?!
Whilst brushing my teeth, I try to ignore the unbearable smell that comes from the sandals of my roommate, Lenka. What a wild berry is that Czech girl Lenka! Yet she has a British accent. I am catching it as well. Either the A/C isn't working or that smell goes stronger and stronger every minute, I think to myself. "I am sorry, I know it's awful" says Lenka and looks at me guilt-faced. At least you know it, I mumble.
Outside in the corridor my friend is getting anxious - c'mon, let's go, I am not waiting for you all day! And don't forget your tie-bow! Oh, yes, my tie-bow. First time for me wearing such thing. I put on the college-shirt, pull on the college-skirt, tie the college tie-bow ... and now I am supposed to look like a pretty spruce college girl. My mirror has a different opinion - terrible!! I look like my grandmother!!! My skirt reaches 2 inches below my knees, the shirt looks big on me and is hanging from all sides, my stockings ran a ladder in the mean time. Just my tie-bow looks perfect on me and bulges at ideal size! I have no choice but to accept those facts...!
I bolt for the stairs - I've got just 5 minutes to find my way in this labyrinth and climb the n-teen-hundred steps to the bar. Yes, the BAR. By an irony of the seaman's fate I am going to associate this bar mainly with the tests and the eagle eyes of Rowina, the Phillipino-girl.
I dash in with a long jump and immediately find myself on a chair at a desk with my name on it. Wow! I see only foreign faces around me. "Richard" says the badge of my neighbor. A dark dude with sparkling eyes. "Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you, Nevena!" says he and shows his nice white, cavity-free front teeth! Wow, this one is fast, I think to myself and glance disparaging at him. He, though, keeps grinning at me! I am going to give him a smack in a minute.. !
I grin back charming instead. The dude starts smirking even more enthusiastic: "Today we are going to work together!" What a luck! In my case either the shark will deaf, or the whistle will have no pellet...
Here comes the above mentioned Rowina. We were going to mimic her later with a laugh - proceeeeeeeedures - with the lower jaw going forward. Try it in front of the mirror and you'll see why! Now, though, she looks at us frightfully. We look at her, too. Impertinent. We are bold Europeans, after all! Hungarians, Czechs, Slovakians, Poles, Lithuanians and Bulgarians. Bulgarians are the biggest group. Rowina introduces herself. She is going to conduct the main class and Joe is going to train us in hospitality. That Joe... later I will write about him.
Those classes seem like a mist to me even now. There was some stupid remember-your-neighbor's-name game. What a bore ... until the Joe came around. South-African. He says just a word and we laugh our heads off. So it goes during the whole lecture. He is good at that! He will be better as a comedian, though. I tell him that. "I played in a movie" says Joe. "Starring Elizabeth Hurley. By the time I appeared on the screen and my parents yelled - here is our Joe!- the scene was over, though." Anyway, who can boast about being in a movie with Elizabeth Hurley?! This guy is such a nutty!
The class is over. We go for a lunch. Now I can look around. I pass by some strange dudes in the corridor. They all grin at me and say: "Hi, how are you?" What do you people want?? I back off instinctively, stare at my shoes and walk further like a ram. I reach the crew-mess. Same story. I line up at the buffet line. Dudes from all sides talk to me - hi, how are you? How do you expect me to be?! Hungry, that's how I am! Understood? I look at them askance, mutter something to myself and turn my back.
The meal looks good at first sight. Wow, so much pastry! I like pastry and you can tell. I fill up my plate with pastry and run off.
Sooo... I am done with the pastry. They are going to show us around the ship in a few minutes. In the mean time another guy has got a bad word from me. I am going to complain about sexual harassment! We've been told it is a serious charge on the ship and is not tolerated.
We head for a ship-tour. I look like a redskin in a casino. I didn't remember the way back. There are shops, bars, elevators, boulevard (casino as well), library, theater, pools, water-slides... Oh, I feel dizzy! Bring me back! They keep dragging me further instead and Rowina keeps explaining her "proceeeeedures"..! What a mess!
On the way back they lead us on a discouragingly different route, so my hopes to get familiar with the labyrinth went down the drain.
At last we are in a well-known place - the crew-bar. Not for a class though, not at all! We are going to have a drink before bed. Rowina advises us to be sensible, to study and get enough sleep instead of hanging out in the crew-bar. Yes, sure, of course ma'am!
We had that drink no-one-knows-how-many times and went with X-styled gait down to our cabins. Did I mention our showers were common? Well, separate for men and for women... of course. But still, it is fun to have a crazy Russian girl coming under your shower with the excuse there is just cold water running in hers... Try to explain to everyone then that you are interested in men!
We pull on the pajamas after shower. There is going to be a PJ-party. Said and done! Someone brought a bottle of vodka from somewhere. I don't drink vodka, but you may ask about my colleagues. The fluid was gone in no time. Click! Someone keeps a memory somewhere about our first college pajama party. Sitting on the ground (or on others' laps), with eyes red of drinking and not getting enough sleep, just with pajamas and socks on, legs and hands spread, we cry loudly I-don't-remember-which-song.
Securityyyy!!! Some crawling, some jumping, some sliding - everyone dash into the rooms. No matter whose room. Outside was nice and quiet, and we played innocent. The security guy just looked around for a while, said something over the walkie-talkie and sneaked out. We sneaked out too - each one to their own cabin. Me - to my roommate's smelly sandals. Boy, didn't I get lucky?!
